It is Yom Kippur. Day of Atonement. We stand today before G-d, before our loved ones, before ourselves, and we ask for forgiveness for all that we have done wrong this year. All our regrets. All our sins.
This year our boys are 10, 9 and 4. They are old enough to grasp this concept in simple terms. So we have talked about it, explained the meaning of this important day: why we fast, why we go to temple, why we take it all so seriously.
The Book of Life.
That always scares them. It is a scary concept: who shall live, who shall perish…
It was scary for me as a child.
I remember sitting in temple, next to my dad, imagining G-d up high in the clouds with a great big book - literally turning pages and writing names in the Book of Life.
And yet.
They still fight.
The kids.
All day long.
I think we said to them about 9 times today, "You guys, it's Yom Kippur..."
But it doesn't matter. It doesn't register.
And if I am truly honest, I haven't been perfect today myself.
I was grumpy and mean this morning to my husband for no real reason.
I was impatient with my children for fighting so much.
I probably thought some unkind thoughts.
And yet.
I think it is ok.
I believe in a G-d who understands. Who gets it. We are not perfect. We are trying.
We are atoning, but still making mistakes as we go along. It's life, it's messy, loud, complicated life and G-d understands.
Today is not about being perfect. Today is just like every other day, really.
Except we are thinking more about who we are, who we have been, and who we want to be.
And G-d hears us. G-d knows.
We are trying.
